A blind man was sitting in a bar having a beer when someone set down beside him.
The blind man leaned toward the new customer and asked, “Would you like to hear a blond joke?”
The new comer looked around the bar and then replied, “Sir, the bar tender is blond, two body builders at the table right behind you are blond, the bouncer at the end of the bar is blond, the woman sitting two stools down is blond and, I am blond. Now, do you really want to tell that blond joke?”
The blind man thought for a few seconds and replied, “No, I don’t really want to explain it six times!”

Frank and Earl are over the road truckers. It was time for Frank to renew his drivers’ license so he and Earl went to the DMV. Earl got into the sleeper for a nap whilst Frank took his test.

Frank had passed the exams with flying colors up to the very last question.

The instructor explains to Frank:

“You are fully loaded, on a narrow two lane road, and are going down hill at a 65% grade.

As you exit a dark tunnel, you see that a wreck has happened about 2000 feet away. Several cars are strung across both lanes of the road. On one side is a 500 foot drop off.
On the other is a 7 foot steel and concrete wall. When you go to apply your brakes, you find you have none on the tractor or the trailer. The question is; What are you going to do?”

Frank thought about the problem for a few seconds then responded: “I’m going to reach back into the sleeper and wake Earl.”

Puzzled the instructor asks Frank just why he would he take the time to bother Earl at this time.

Frank just leaned back in his seat and responded very calmly, “’Cause Earl aint never seen no shit wreck like the one we're about to have!”

THE STAFF OF LIFE

A priest and a nun were asked to do a mercy mission. Upon agreeing to do so was informed that it was across the largest desert around. They were given a camel and told if they went in a strait line across the desert that they wound be there in about five days.

They pack supplies for the trip and head of into the desert. However, after two and a half days the camel buckled to the ground and rolled over on the rest of the supplies and simply died. The nun right away got shook up and started pulling at the priests arm and asking questions...

Father, what should we do know? The camel is on all our supplies and he is too big for us to move!
Father, should we turn around and walk the way we came on the camel or go on across the desert?
Father, please tell me what we should do!

The priest thought for a few moments then started speaking in a very comforting tone to the nun.

Now, now sister. Just try to relax and put your faith in the creator. You see, we are in the very middle of this desert. Regardless of what way we go, the heat from the sun will cause us to die. Therefore, I think we should just try to be comfortable and wait for our maker to take us home.

However, if you have any questions that you don't think was answered in your life, now would be the time to ask.

The nun sit down in the shade of the camel and thought for awhile...

Well Father, she began. I guess I have always wondered about what a man looked like naked.

The priest was a bit surprised but quickly removed all his clothes and turned facing the nun. Well, he asked, are you surprised?

The nun looked him over a bit then said. Not really, but I do have another question?

Ok sister, what might that be?

The nun pointed and asked "What is that hanging between you legs?"

Again a bit surprised but also a bit excited, the priest responded with a slight grin. "Well sister! That is the staff of life!"

The nun jumped up with a big smile on here face and said "Great! Now, stick it in that damn camel and let’s get the fuck out of here!"

This is only for fun and if you are bothered by ANY of the content here, Please EXIT THIS BLOG and NEVER come BACK!!!

THANK YOU! Know any good jokes? Tell me one!